Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Happy Birthday, Baby Greetings, and a Must-see movie for all!

First things first: Jo, happy happy Birthday! And to you too, Sarah, whose birthday I have long since given up on trying to remember. Happy 31st!

And to Sarah especially, thank you for being so understanding about this weekend. We did end up seeing my uncle on Sunday morning for a bit, and he seemed to be recovering well. There was on moment when he got up off the couch, yelped, and stumbled. I thought, holy crap, his guts are going to come out! But really it was just his leg that fell asleep! Haa! (For those of you not in the know...my uncle had to have an emergency gallbladder-ectomy this weekend and because of the changes in the schedule, Christa and I were unable to make it to Ft. Worth to see mom and meet little Chloe.)

So the movie is called, "For the Bible Tells me so." Essentially, the movie introduces several different gay people who were brought up in Christian households and how they recognized and eventually dealt with the apparent disconnect between their Christian beliefs and their own sexual identity. I basically watched the movie through my tears. The stories shared in this movie are so powerful and they are, in different ways, my story. They put a voice to my experience in a way that I haven't myself done yet and my heart just resonated with the experiences each of these people have lived through. Please, please, please look for this movie and watch it. And if you can't find it, let me know and I will send it to you. I think it's that important.

One particular story that I resonated with especially was told by a young woman named Chrissy. She grew up catholic and was unsuccessful in the dating arena for most of high school and college. She figured she just hadn't found the right guy yet. Later in college, she began dating a guy who really was her best friend. After 5-6 years, they got married and she was happy to be marrying her best friend. After several years of marriage, Chrissy met a woman who she clicked with immediately. They spent tons of time together and quickly became very close. Chrissy described herself as always wanting to be with her, spend more time with her, etc. After a while, Chrissy's friend, a little awkwardly, told her that she was a lesbian and that she felt badly because they had gotten so close and she had not really found a good way to tell Chrissy about her sexual identity. She wasn't flirting with Chrissy or trying to split up her marriage, but in that conversation, Chrissy says that a light went off and she realized that she hadn't been waiting for the right guy all those years...she was waiting for the right girl. And when she met her, her whole world righted itself and she was whole, she was herself with this woman.

Why didn't she figure this out before? According to Chrissy (and this is exactly how I feel), things that are not options are simply not entertained. As a young catholic, Chrissy learned that to be gay and to commit suicide were both "abominations" to God and that you would get a one-way ticket straight to hell for either one. So no gay and no suicide. It wasn't even in her realm of possibility. Not until much later in life.

This is, in so many ways, my story. There are more things in the movie that are so important for straight people to hear, to see, especially people who come from Christian backgrounds like all of ours. And I want to talk about them with you all, but instead of me trying to lay it all out there, see the movie!

The last thing I'll say about the film at this point is this: the movie does a great job at showing the audience how alienating the process of coming out can be for gay Christians. This alienation, utter aloneness, feelings of rejection and abandonment, all of it I have experienced, and still continue to feel. Can you imagine the uproar if Christa and I went to a Wheaton reunion? Held hands while walking across the quad? There is not doubt in my mind that I would be asked to leave. And that is alienation. So it's in an attempt to recover a more satisfying relationship with Wheaton and my dear friends from there that I'm encouraging this movie so much.

So let me know what you find and what you think.


kel said...

I'll see it. Promise me we can have a long phone chat afterwards. It's been a long time.

kkyle said...

We can even chat before if you want ;) Definitely want to catch up.

Jo said...

I would be happy to watch this film if even one of my 5 area Blockbusters had it in, but they don't. And people never return on time to Blockbuster anymore since they don't have late fees. And iTunes doesn't have it either. It might be a while.

Megan said...


It's in my Netflix queue so I'll let you know when I get it.