Testicular cancer, schmesticular schmancer

5/12/2009: I have been waiting for several weeks to be able to post this. I am so happy to announce that I am going to be an aunt again. (For those keeping track at home, that's three similar announcements in 18 months, all different parents.) Anyway, this time it is my brother Robbie and his wife Jenni. Most of you will remember that Robbie had testicular cancer 2 years ago at this time. He had surgery to remove the affected testicle and then went through 9 weeks of chemotherapy, so even though tests indicated he would probably be able to have kids naturally, it wasn't guaranteed. 

Jenni is due around December 1st. They heard a strong heartbeat at the doctor's office today. And we are so excited to meet little Rubik (their nickname for the baby until they find out the sex - more on that in a month or two so stay tuned).

5/14/2009 Update: Here is a link to Jenni's version of the story, which I suppose is the one that matters most. Also, since Robbie posted this information as his Facebook profile I guess I can share. If I have a niece, she will be called Ruby Mae. If I have a nephew, he will be Maverick Russell. As in, "I'm Charlotte Blackwood." "I'm Maverick." "Maverick?? Did your mother not like you or something?" "No, it's my call sign." "Oh, you're a pilot!" "That's right, a naval aviator."

What I Didn't Expect While Expecting

There's a classic pregnancy book called What to Expect When Expecting, and I thought I'd share a few of the things I didn't expect during this third pregnancy. Not all though, as some are truly gross and embarrassing.

1. The stares - I don't go out much anymore. There are two main reasons - it takes up too much energy and people stare and then talk about me as I'm going by. Yes, I know my belly is big and I'm waddling, but could you be a little more discreet?

2. The breathing - I no longer breathe through my nose, as I need lots of oxygen with each breath. So I am now a loud mouth-breather. Also, if I stand up, I am out of breath. If I walk 15 steps to the kitchen, I sound like I just ran a 5k.

3. The heat - with two babies, my metabolism is extra high (it's worse than being pregnant in South Florida). That means that even though it's 30 degrees outside today, the heaters are not turned on. Todd goes to bed with two layers of clothes and three layers of blankets. I go to bed with shorts, t-shirt, cold water, and a fan blowing on me all night.

4. The size - I am wearing a lot of size medium workout/fleece pants that I wore pre-pregnancy (woohoo!!), coupled with XL and XXL pregnancy shirts. And they're still not completely covering me. At church a few weeks ago a friend's husband was talking to Todd. Here's what he said. "So I guess I haven't seen Megan in a while. WOW."

5. The numbness - my hands are continually numb (even while I'm trying to type this they are falling asleep). I have developed pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome. My hands must hang over the edge of the bed/couch at night in order to not fall asleep.

6. The morning sickness - typically morning sickness ends around the start of the second trimester (about 14 weeks in). My morning sickness began April 5th (it was at the zoo and I predicted that I must be pregnant) and hasn't let up.

7. The thirst - I drink about 3/4 gallon of milk and easily over 64 oz. of water daily. Combine that with 11 lbs. resting on the bladder, and that's another reason why I don't get out that much! I leave the bathroom and sometimes turn around and go right back in.

8. The food - with twins, I have the pleasant task of eating as much protein and calcium as possible. That means a HUGE bowl of ice cream each night (it is for the babies, of course) and ordering steak whenever possible. I'm supposed to consume a lot of iron as well, with the suggestion of eating liver, but gladly will take the little iron vitamin instead. This is the only time in my life where the experts want me to eat more protein than fruits/vegetables and I fully intend to take advantage of it.

9. This is normal - I bring in questions to my ob each week about new aches and symptoms that have developed, and it's ALL normal.

10. The kindness of others - it all began early in the summer. Every time I rode the bus, someone offered their seat. Friends from church offer to bring over meals. And my favorite has been Todd. I am completely amazed at how unselfish he has been, helping out as much as possible. Washing dishes, taking care of all the needs of the boys, vacuuming, picking up, grocery shopping, doing laundry, basically everything except cooking supper (and that's only because we don't want to die of food poisoning nor eat hot dogs each night), he's kindly and without complaint taken over everything for me.

From the Front Lines

This post is brought to you by Harris Methodist Hospital and their fantabulous wireless internet. How is it that women have been bringing new life into the world for thousands of years without it??

That's right, you all are getting a post straight from what will (eventually) be my delivery room. I feel a little bit like Pheobe on that episode of friends where she has the heart attack--typing away on my computer while awaiting one of the most significant events of my life. But hey, I've got to kill time somehow.

At this point I'm hooked up to varoius machines, which are serving to illustrate that nothing, I repeat, nothing, is happening in my uterus at the moment. When the doctor comes in, hopefully we can get this show on the road and convince Little Miss to come out, although she is proving to be a bit more stubborn than her sister was.

I'll post pictures (of the baby, not of the process) when I get them.

Birthday Love

I was dreading my 31st birthday. Not because of the painful process of aging. No, instead I was dreading it because I was expecting an uncomfortable and unproductive visit to my OB. And indeed, that is what I got. But, thanks to all the birthday love I received from everyone the day was not entirely lost. I'd like to share a few of my favorite birthday wishes, although I must issue a Parental Advisory for the content.

On my voicemail (from spaghettipie, received while I was at the OB):

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
I guess you're getting an exam of your hoo-hoo,
Happy Birthday to you.

In my email (from cdub):

My birthday wish for you:
May no baby come forth today (unless you are miserably large)
So that you never have to share your birthday with another (unless you are selfless like me and do not mind.)

A birthday card (from Anna):

Pictured on the front are two friends having coffee.
Friend 1: Where's your birthday party going to be at?

Friend 2: Don't end your sentence with a preposition.

Inside the card:
Friend 1: Where's your birthday party going to be at, Bitch?


Overheard talking to herself at naptime (from Sophie):
"Today is Mommy's birthday.
Happy birthday, Mom."

And this one is not a birthday wish, but it was a gift in its own way.

Lying in bed with Mommy after hearing Daddy yell at the tv
(from Sophie, who gets in trouble for yelling):
"I need to go stop him. He's having a bad choice."
Yes, having a bad choice indeed. Tee hee.

It was a happy birthday after all.

Waiting

I got my fortune cookie yesterday. The fortune was interesting "Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far." The numbers not so helpful. But on the back there was a single word, "Wait." And I said to myself, "That's just fantastic for you to say, Mr. Fortune Cookie, you're not the one who has been toting around another human for approximately 266 days. Hmpf." Anyway, my due date has arrived, and I'm just waiting for this baby to come out. The biggest problem is that I have cleared my schedule for the week "just in case" (I should have known better) and now I'm basically really bored. I'll go check in with the dr. on my birthday--just what I always wanted for my birthday, an intrusive cervical exam--and see how Little Miss is doing. I'll keep you posted.

In other waiting news, we are also waiting to see if anyone wants to buy our snowcone stand, as I am not completely sure how I will be running the thing while caring full-time for two small children this summer. So, if anyone wants to buy our snowcone stand, here's the posting on Craigslist.

And finally, I'd like to close with David's fortune from yesterday, "Good news of long-awaited event will arrive soon." I'm fairly certain this fortune has nothing to do with my having a baby, but is instead referring to the Baylor Men's basektball team and their re-entry into the NCAA Tournament after a hiatus of 20 years.

The Most Comfortable Place in the World. . .

is apparently my womb.

I went to the doctor last Wed, about 10 days shy of my due date, and it appears that little miss Chloe (that's her name) is quite comfortable in there and has made no effort whatsoever to start the whole process of being born. Yeah, so dial down the emergency mode, folks, any phone calls from me in the next week have very little chance of being related to actually having a baby. I'm just going on with life and acting like she's never going to come. With Sophie, I was chomping at the bit to have her. I was so excited and also very, very hot and swollen (may I recommend winter/spring babies?). With Chloe, I'm thinking, the longer she stays in there, the more days I have to rest up before all heck breaks loose here. I'll keep you all posted, but don't hold your breath.

In other news, Sophie has a new trick. After her first day in Sunday School (instead of the toddler room) and hearing the lesson about the feeding of the 5,000, she has taken it upon herself to preach. She got a mic stand and a Bible and started reading. Apparently, every page in that Bible reads "Jesus do anything" because after she turned each page, that's what she said.

Her vocabulary has also expanded to include "widicwous", "dewishous", and "adowabow". We think she is all of the above. Oh, and for the last two days, her requested reading has been The Illustrated NFL Playbook, circa 1988. Not making this stuff up, people. By the time she's three, I'm hoping she'll have a pretty good grasp of the virtures of the 3-4 defense and the West Coast Offense.

Also, if you're interested, my writer's group has written some Reflections on Lent. They are posted every M/W/F throughout Lent. I wrote the one about bacon. Go figure.

One last thing, the other day I googled Chloe's name (Chloe Elizabeth) and found this funny blog. Read the post from 2/22, you'll like it, I promise.

Arrrrrggghhhhh

Sometime at the Big Fun Luau I pronounced that henceforth I would be posting at least once a week. Unfortunately, Charter "Stupidhead" Cable does not seem all that interested in providing consistent internet service to my home, despite the money I continue to pay them month after month. I would switch, but there is no other way for me to receive internet unless I would also like to install (and pay for) a home phone line that I would never use. Anyway, they came out and "fixed" it again, but now I have no wireless capability, so I'm sitting uncomfortably in the office typing this, so if I seem more persnickety than usual, I'm blaming the office chair.

But at least I now I don't have to lug my laptop and cruise up and down the streets looking for a wi-fi connection. (I never actually did that, but I was close.) Speaking of things that are very foolish, let me issue a warning: If you are, in fact, thirteen weeks pregnant, and are, in fact, very emotional and moderately sick to your stomach, and exhausted from chasing a toddler around, you should NOT, under any circumstances, be watching Steel Magnolias unsupervised. I must've gone through 20 tissues in the last half hour alone. Actually, it's an amusing mental picture. Me sitting on the couch in my pile of tissues, hiccuping with sobs and spooning mint chip ice cream (the only dinner I could stomach tonight) in between each sob. I'm glad Sophie was in bed, I don't think she's quite ready for that lesson on womanhood yet. It's such a good movie, and I realized (again) how glad I am to have my girls, you girls. I know someday we'll be older and that we'll all have weathered some hard things, but we will have done it together. I'd better stop or this will be a 40-tissue night.

By the way, I'd like to give a shout-out to my husband this evening. Although he would not sit and watch the movie with me, he did single-handedly clean out a very gross refrigerator, put away a mountain of laundry and clean up the bathroom after my dinner made a comeback. Sophie was sitting at the table as I dashed to the bathroom to be sick, she said "Mommy running" and offered to get me a tissue. (I should have kept her up for the movie so she could hand me the tissues.) Awwww. I may complain about this pregnancy, but if this kid is half as sweet as it's daddy and sister, I'm a lucky, lucky woman. Dang it, could someone pass the Kleenex?