Saturday, December 27, 2008

An Update on Kelly

I'm sure you were all missing me terribly. To set the scene for my come back post, I'd like you to know I am wearing, of course, my reindeer pajamas (see my facebook profile if you need a visual), my new slippers and my new leopard scarf. I think I look very dashing, plus my parents' house is very cold.

Let's see, I've promised an update on my life. We'll start with the disturbing news - my parents have celebrity crushes. I just think this is very weird to hear my sixty something parents discussing these crushes. I mean, The Office will never be the same for me now that my dad has declared Angela "sexy." And my mom likes Fritz from The Closer. I know you are glad to know this.

So I have had a series of baking tragedies lately. It's almost ended my will to bake. I really blame Martha Stewart for this. She has led me to believe that I had the ability to do these things, which I obviously don't. For my homeroom I decided to make cupcakes. Chocolate with chocolate chips. They ended up tasting an awful lot like sawdust with wood chips. Rather than starting over again, I decided that frosting would solve all my problems. Only the frosting turned out too runny and hot pink (no, 17 drops of "red" food coloring is clearly NOT enough to make red icing). I left my sad little cakes on the counter for the night and when I woke up there was icing all over my kitchen and very little on my cakes. You know you're in bad shape when high school boys won't eat it... and that's exactly what happened. I had to throw them all away in shame.
But that is nothing compared to what happened when I tried to make marshmallows. Trust me, just buy jet puffed next time, no matter what Martha tells you, they are NOT easy. It started with a large amount of smoke and ended with a half hour of me scraping burned sugar off the range with a razor blade. In the middle it involved this taffy like substance getting all over my hair, clothes, hands, etc. We finally managed to scrape about half into a pan praying they would rise like loaves of bread and be the perfect marshmallowey consistency. Of coure this did not happen and we ended up using our concoction to make rice krispy treats. Ironically, this song played on the radio during our escapade.
I'm not even going to tell you what happened to the cheesecake I made when my sister and her new boyfriend came over for dinner. Some things are just too embarassing to put on the internet.
There are many more wild and exciting things going on with me, but I think I need to give you all a chace to process all this excitement so that I don't overwhelm you.

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