Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Horror
So ladies you may appreciate the horrifying news I got yesterday. I feel that I have begun to fight the battle against aging. Yes, I know I know I have inner beauty, blah blah. Terri Hatcher yesterday on Oprah says she no longer gets botox because she wants her inner beauty to outshine her outer beauty. Yeah, whatever. So I am fighting a losing battle plucking the gray hairs off my head, worrying about wrinkles, etc. So, yesterday when I opened my mail I was HORRIFIED to find that AARP sent me a letter. "Dear Kelly, we are happy to inform you that you are eligible to become a member of AARP." That's the Amercian Association of Retired Persons. Now I'm delighted to begin considering my retirement. It'd time for comfy pants and 4 pm dinners for me. No more work or uncomfortable shoes. However, I am now beginning to worry about if I'm ever going to have grandkids and which assisted living home I should move into. Not fun.
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2 comments:
You'll also have to start driving with your turn signal on for miles at a time and you should start working on being offended by how "racy" television is these days.
We've got some pretty swanky assisted living facilities here in Ft. Worth. And the food is not that bad, either, if you like flavorless mush that somehow smells of moth balls. I'm sure Bethesda Manor would be delighted to have you. Speaking of youngsters living in old folks' homes, has anyone seen "In Her Shoes"? It's pretty cute, although you do see quite a bit of Cameron Diaz's booty. (Looks just like mine.)
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