Bad Analogies

My principal gave me this list of analogies written by high school students and sent in by their teachers. Here are a few of my favorites:

1) She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up.

2) Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

3) He was as tall as a six-foot, three inch tree.

4) The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

5) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6) The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

7) The ballerine rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

8) It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

9) He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

10) They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.